We began the day with Andy telling me he had a dream in which I told him I'd been fed up for four years and was leaving him. "Awww don't be silly" I said. "It'll be ten years in October"... (he laughed, a lot, maybe a bit hysterically)
I've never worn slippers before really. But literally right a the start of this weird life phase, I pulled out my going-into-hospital-to-have-a-baby-best-get-some-slippers slippers. Haven't had them off my feet since. Shoes feel weird now. If I'm forced to enter into this weird new shoe less coat less dimension, apparently I'm going to do it in comfort.
I've embraced listening to my kids stories more. We talk endlessly now. Which I love. But for the love of all things holy why can't they just get to the point? Headlines only kids. Mummy is on a fricking schedule here. OK I'm not but seriously?? Apparently there's not enough houses in the world for them to go around just tell me that their left hand has a small scratch on it.
And then Mummy I was in there and but so I went in there because my lego was there but it was upstairs but it wasn't really because it was in the kitchen but the head was in there so really it was in there a bit too but not all of it and anyway then I need a drink mummy can I have a drink and then so I went back in there no mummy orange juice not water and then Isla get off my kindle mummy that's my kindle she always uses mine and anyway so I went in there after I went in the kitchen where the head was but I didn't need that head I wanted the spiderman lego head and that was in there I think or upstairs can I have a snack so I went in there and did some drawing. And then I looked at my hand and there was a scratch on it. Can I have a plaster? Mummy. Mummy?? Can I have a plaster? Mummy Daddy said you shouldn't drink straight out of the bottle. Do you like my drawing?
Today, the kids collaborated fairly well. Until "Mummmmmy she drew on my head". The calm never lasts does it? I've noticed both my children have an alarming tenacity for being a wind up. Isla chants, repeatedly, "always stay calm when things go wrong" while Barney is wailing that she's trashed his art again. To be fair, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...I spent most of the afternoon trying to convince them that school was re-opening the next day. I showed B a picture of Boris and a "schools to re-open" headline (designed for April Fools purposes). Do you know what Barney said " Oh that's just click bait". He's 8!!? How does he even know what click bait is??
At dinner time, they played a spontaneous, most ill advised pandemic game; share the spaghetti. The Russian Roulette of feeding time antics. And rightly or wrongly, we threw caution to the wind on the basis they cough sneeze and dribble over each other constantly anyway...and their howling giggles came as a welcome change from "waaaah I'm not eating thaaaaat".
Quick question...do you think if I asked really nicely my mortgage provider would just gift me my house?